i'm feeling its time for another speil. sorry.
i feel like i have no emotion, like your've just got some vacumn cleaner has just gone right through me and sucked me clean dry of any feeling i possess. it's like i'm empty. like there's no water when your dying of thirst in a desert. i want to know why. why i seem to end up back here.
this is so different to every other time, every other person. every other guy. everyone thats ruled my heart. maybe i'm so used to being hurt now that it feels like your nothing new. friends, family, other people who don't know like i do, say i should justgive up now. before i do get hurt, before you take more of me then i can chew. i think, maybe.. why i'm like this now is that.. i've realised what my life would be like without you, and thats not something i'd to picture. maybe i finally trust someone, maybe yourve got to much of me, maybe i love you, maybe i hate you, maybe i just dont want you to have anyone else. whatever it is, it's not something i'm happy with.
i thought this would make me happy. am i so desperate to be happy that its making me upset? is there anything i can do to change this? maybe i just need, you.
one day, to work out. what i want. because this is horrible. and im starting to not cope. i hate everywhere. i hate everything. i know hate is a strong word, but there is not ONE thing im happy about right now. this is stupid, because its just you, making me feel this way, and noone should make me feel inferior without my permission. so how do you?