i want to hate you.

i told you things i've never told anyone. i let you into my life. and you rip me to peices. but yet, i still can't hate you. but i want to. if i could, i would punch you till you bleed. i would rip out your hair till your crying of pain. i want to make you be just as hurt as you made me. but i'm not that type of person. so i'll suck it up. i'll make it look like i'm not hurt. like nothings the matter. just to get through the day. just so you don't know how much you hurt me. how much i'm dying inside. how much i want to give up. i'll show you that i'm fine without you. my head is up. it will be staying that way - until i get home.